Last week, the night before my birthday, I had a dream in which I ran around saying “I’m turning 34! 3 plus 4 equals lucky!” I thought it was the funniest thing in the world (in the dream) and I still think it’s funny to say. However, now that I’m actually 34 it’s more like “3 plus 4 equals creaky and sluggish.” When I turned 30 I remember waking up and discovering that my knees hurt. When I was 29 everything was great. The next day, sore knees. The next few years were mostly pain-free, and now my back hurts and I’m moving in slow motion. 3 plus 4 equals…
Anyway, I’m a bit creaky today because of car work yesterday. I replaced my car’s spark plugs and spark plug wires, serpentine belt, and alternator. Everything was smooth until I got to the alternator, which is tucked into a spot that required much contorting and creative swearing to access.
The cool thing about replacing alternators is that when you buy a new one the parts person gives you a mission: Here is your new alternator, intrepid amateur mechanic! Bring back the old one to claim your “core charge refund” of ten whole dolllars! (They send the old part off to be refurbished.)
So you run off with your new alternator and are inspired by the prospect of pleasing the parts person with the speedy return of the old alternator. It’s like an adventure game on the Xbox. Find guy, get mission, complete task, receive reward. I felt like a kid doing something good for his parents when I walked back in there. Here is my core! Too bad they just credited ten bucks on my credit card instead of giving me ten crisp dollar bills. Or five crisp two dollar bills.
However, the true reward is a car that doesn’t have alternator problems anymore, and the thought that I might have saved a few bucks. And pleased the parts person. And earned my dinner at the early bird buffet.
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