I was clicking around TV channels today and stumbled across a channel I’ve never heard of (Versus) televising an event I never imagined seeing on TV: foosball. This was “doubles” foosball, two men against two men, and they were all quite adept at knocking the little ball around with plastic guys on a gaming table. So adept, in fact, that I couldn’t see the ball when they hit it and scored…I just had to take the over-eager announcer’s word for it. After the match the winners were interviewed by a scantily clad woman and used the same cliches they’ve probably heard on SportsCenter for the past twenty years. I’m sure Chris Berman and Bill Simmons will be on the scene in no time, and within 5 years ESPN will be covering the Foosball Amateur Draft for 17 consecutive hours in the middle of July.
I used to play foosball when I was a little kid and spent time in the Rec center after school. I’d play with my friends while the lunch lady stood on one of those fat-burning/weight-loss machines that I’m sure nobody remembers — it looked kind of like a treadmill but with no treading…just a wide belt that went around a person’s waist and jiggled a lot. I guess that jiggled the fat away. Anyway, this lunch lady (who would grab me by the ear if I ever talked to loud at lunch) jiggled on the fat-jiggling machine while we played foosball and FOR GOD’S SAKE THAT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE ON MY TV. It is boring and stupid and I don’t want to pay my local cable provider for this inane crap. Please please somebody make it all stop.
That’s all. Back to TV for me. I’m sure in another week or so I’ll be buying a foosball table and training for next year’s main event.
{ 4 } Comments
I wonder if you can still get a jiggler… With all the other things available through early morning advertising tv if I watch the right channel I can find that. It seems somewhat relaxing if you think about it. Having the bejeesus shaken out of you at the end of a long day, sort of like shaken baby syndrome, only with more control of your noggin.
It is funny you bring up elementary school lunches. Ben and I were just talking about the ultimate elementary school experience…..Pizza day. And how no matter what school you went to or in what state you lived, the best day of the week was Pizza day. I think it might be an cultural event that shapes the lives of all American children, at least in the eighties. Who didn’t love Pizza day? That and reverse ABC order lunch lines. The only day of the week that us bottom of the alphabet names got to be first in line and actually get chocolate milk before it ran out.
I bet there are some jigglers out there at yard sales. Or, I bet there will be a Wii attachment soon…something that will connect to the Wii Fit board and add a jiggling option to the standard exercises and yoga poses.
I also looked forward to Pizza Day. I’d mark it on the school lunch calendar…usually I brought my lunch but Pizza Day was the exception. I never had reverse order lines, though, and it wouldn’t have helped me too much anyway. They should sell School Pizza at the store because I’d buy it, even though it was more like rectangles of cold synthetic cheese with runny tomato sauce.
That’s funny…today IS kind of the end of TV. Analog TV, at least.
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