MoodyTunes

Project: Repair toilet (Why Act I? Because there are three other toilets in the house. It’s just a matter of time…)

Supplies: Hammer, pliers, screwdriver, bucket, towels, toilet repair kit

Motivation: Not wanting to pay plumber, pride, had to pee

Last weekend I set about fixing the toilet that has been running for…about three months. I’m sure gallons upon gallons of water have been wasted due to my negligence but hey, these things take time. Not content with the standard toilet part kit (labeled “The two parts that cause 99% of your problems”) I got the supreme replace-everything kit (labeled “The two parts that cause 99% of your problems plus five additional parts that make repairs a total nightmare”) figuring that I might as well swap all the junk out so I never have to look at the inside of the toilet tank again.

Who knew you had to completely detach the top half of the toilet to replace this stuff? A special note to amateur plumbers: When the instructions say to have a bucket available, have a bucket available.
Significant others don’t necessarily approve of you grabbing the nearest towels, the “Oh my god! Those were the nice towels!” for emergency mop-up of brackish stanky toilet water.

I swore a lot during the toilet overhaul. Once because I cut my hand, once because I thought I broke the tank, once because I realized we didn’t have the gargantuan plumber’s wrench that you need to get the massive bolt thingy off the bottom of the tank you just wrenched from the toilet base. And then once more, in a good way, when I smashed the bolt thingy to bits and didn’t break anything important.

I’m proud to report the toilet has stopped running. No leaks, no problems. And I only lost some skin off my knuckles and about two hours.